


Primary colors

by tsukitachinu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, but happy ending, johndojae, kinda angsty, metaphorical depiction of sex scene, painter au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 17:46:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukitachinu/pseuds/tsukitachinu
Summary: Yoonoh always found his inspiration in his close friend, Dongyoung, until he couldn't find it anymore.





	Primary colors

Yoonoh put down his brush and looked at the almost blank canvas. He tried drawing a few strokes to start his inspiration but nothing was coming to him. He looked around, seeing nothing but boring things. Those boring things used not to be, he selected every single one of them carefully to set up his painting studio, he chose a specific chair, so he could sit comfortably while sketching or doing watercolours, other than that there were a few plants to give an artistic vibe but also to have a prettier and some green. Yoonoh was careful about the colour balance, he thought that as an artist he should know how to balance colours in his life, in every aspect of it. So he chose different colours for his studio and the rest of his flat, but he also picked his outfit carefully, even his friends gave off some colours vibe and if the colour vibe wasn't pigmented, or too chalky then he tried not to stay around them.

 

Right now he was seated on a wooden stool in front of his easel, his wooden palette resting on his knee, his head between his hands. Wondering what he could do since he had nothing to paint. He tried everything from looking online for a tutorial that may inspire him, to go take a walk with a sketchbook, he even went to the gallery to see Dongyoung but even that didn't work.

 

And Dongyoung always had inspired him.

 

Actually, most of Yoonoh's painting reminded him of his friend, a few details here and there, the set of colour that represented Dongyoung.

 

Dongyoung was a pale but still vibrant yellow, with some brown touches. Yellow is the colour representing the intellect and cheerfulness. It's illuminating and a form of hope. It's also the colour of innovation and thinking outside the box. Dongyoung is the colour yellow in the eye of Yoonoh. Dongyoung is smart but knows how to have fun, he tends to cheer him up whenever he needs it, tries to make him see the bright side or help him find solutions. He inspires him and gives him good feedbacks on his work even though he is his friend, Dongyoung would never lie to him and would tell him the hard truth if a piece is bad, he used to when they were like ten years old, but he always had given him a great confidence and optimism about his work these years, never a bad word, he always seems to like what Yoonoh does.

 

Dongyoung was also brownish, because he meant stability to Yoonoh. He is a friend he had for so long that having him near, in his life, was a constance and that's what brown was all about. It's a colour that support you, that makes you feel safe. It's a responsible colour, especially with close people. Brown is also a sense of belonging. And Yoonoh felt nothing more than belonging by Dongyoung's side, being his friend was comforting and safe.

 

For a long time now, Yoonoh had painted pieces that reminded him of his friend, always with some yellow and brown touches and only him could see his face hidden in the strokes, the lines composing other characters, other scenes. But he had always been in there, hidden, only for Yoonoh to see, only for Yoonoh to know.

 

And today he tried finding inspiration in Dongyoung, as always, but couldn't. He didn't know why, it was weird not feeling inspired by someone so beautifully yellow.

 

Maybe he needed to actually see him, to see his light, his brightness, to feel illuminated by inspiration ?

 

So he left his painting tools there and put on a jacket, checked himself in the mirror a bit, making sure he didn't' have painting on his face (he had some on his hands but that was just his skin at this point) and went out.

 

Yoonoh walked to Dongyoung's art gallery. Only a couple of people were there and Yoonoh went straight up to the counter to greet his friend, they hugged chastely because of the customers and Dongyoung being in his working hours, he didn't want to scare the clients away.

 

They talked for a bit and Yoonoh started feeling better, his yellowness was making wonders. By the end of it, they were both smiling brightly and wished each other good night as Yoonoh left the gallery around 10pm to go back to his flat and try to paint something. He didn't feel a burst of inspiration, but he was feeling better and thought he should give it a try, see his Dongyoung's magic was still working.

 

It wasn't.

 

He still couldn't paint anything. Yellow and Brown were only mixing into a nasty mustard colour. Yoonoh hated it, it didn't look like Dongyoung at all, Dongyoung was anything but mustard, anything but nasty and pretty. And he still didn't have anything on his canvas.

 

What was wrong with him ?

 

He thought that maybe he just had to sleep, that everything would be okay the following day.

 

It wasn't.

 

He still couldn't paint anything. He tried though, he woke up, took his breakfast and headed to his studio, brought a fresh canvas, applied the colours on his wooden palette and started staring at the canvas.

 

The canvas was still perfectly blank hours after.

 

He thought that maybe the following day would get better, maybe he needed to rest, maybe he needed to change air for a while. Everything would be back to normal soon enough, he thought.

 

It wasn't.

 

He still couldn't paint anything even two months after. He tried, almost every day. Except that one week where he did a break, thinking that maybe he needed to rest a bit before touching a brush again, that forcing himself every day wasn't a good way to be productive. But even after that, he couldn't draw. He couldn't see any colour dancing, couldn't picture how they mixed, couldn't imagine Dongyoung's colour palette.

 

And maybe that was the issue. At the end of those two months of being in an artist slump, he started to think maybe his feelings for Dongyoung were the issue. As long as he could remember, Yoonoh had always loved him. Always. From school to university, to now. Loving Dongyoung was a constance. But even if it been years he never actually confessed, his friend had no clue of his feelings.

 

 

 

He could never tell him how he feels.

 

Because Dongyoung is yellow.

 

And yellow is non-emotional and don't want to get emotionally involved.

 

So maybe the problem was that along the years, he stopped loving him that way. He was still a dear friend, but maybe somewhere along the paintings Yoonoh's love faded away, became pale before vanishing and that's why now he couldn't use him as his inspiration anymore. He needed to love him, to be that tormented artist to use it as a fuel for his work.

 

And right now he wasn't sure he had that feeling in him. Maybe yellow wasn't for him.

 

But until he found a new inspiration he had to find a new source of income, so he found a job unrelated to his paintings.

 

As the weeks went by, as he went to work day after day, he slowly started to forget to paint. He didn't feel any inspiration rush, so he just didn't bother going in his studio at all, and little by little he stopped thinking about it.

 

Until one day he gets a text from Dongyoung.

 

_Hey, Yoonoh._

_I haven't seen you in a while and got worried but figured if something was wrong and needed to talk about it, you would have. So I guess you need space and some alone time... well it's been months, Yoonoh, and I miss you._

_I swear I wouldn't have texted you and broken the promise I made myself that I wouldn't bother you, break the trust I have in you to come back to me when you feel ready, but I had to bring you some news, so I took the opportunity to say a few words. Excuse me for being selfish._

_So, someone bought one of your paintings today, the ' Do not shrink away ' one. You need to come by to get your share._

 

The text overwhelmed Yoonoh. Suddenly his heart was dipped into yellow paint and it was too much brightness at once. He couldn't believe he lived without it for so long, how sad is a world without yellow. His heart ached, and he had to take a break from work, putting a hand on his chest to hold it together, his other hand holding on the counter.

 

It was painfully pleasing, to understand how much he missed Dongyoung too. How much he needed him. It was pleasantly painful to notice how he forgot about him, how he blocked out anything painting and Dongyoung related.

 

How could he even think he stopped loving him when all it took was a text and a few soft words.

 

So once his shift ended, he went to the gallery, he needed to see his friend, to apologize for running away. He missed seeing the paintings hanging on the walls, he missed seeing all those different genres, all those colours and how differently every artist mixed them.

 

It was nice coming back, somehow.

 

When he saw Dongyoung, Yoonoh's heartbeat increased, and he couldn't do anything but go straight into his arms, cryingly apologizing, or apologetically crying. And Dongyoung just pat his back, saying that everything was alright as many times as he needed to hear it.

 

After that, Yoonoh kept working but a few times a week, when his shift ended, he came to the gallery to see the paintings and to talk to his friend that he was still deeply in love with.

 

He loved him just as much, he just wasn't getting inspiration from him anymore.

 

One night after work, while Dongyoung wasn't having any customers, he told Yoonoh how funny he hadn't met Johnny yet. How that dude came here just as much, but they kept missing each other.

 

Yoonoh was intrigued, not by the man himself, but by the softness with which Dongyoung pronounced his name. How differently his name rolled on the tip of his tongue compared to Yoonoh's. How it wasn't fair.

 

Dongyoung saw his gaze full of questions and started talking without even being asked. That's how Yoonoh learned how pretty Johnny was, how tall as well, how he loved art, and he started coming here a lot after moving in the neighbourhood. Yoonoh now knew everything about him, from his sparkle in his eyes when he was amazed by a piece, to the warmness in his laugh when Dongyoung gave him his special customer joke.

 

Johnny was an art lover, and Dongyoung seemed to like him.

 

Why would he like an art lover when he had a painter right there under his nose ? Why Johnny ? Why not him ?

 

That's how he thought and how he got inspired again. By jealousy.

 

When he came home that night, he couldn't stop thinking about Dongyoung and Johnny, even though he never met him. And inspiration came his way. He had to paint it away, he bursted into his studio that he had left for way too long and breathed in the smell of the paint, brushed his hand on a new canvas that gave him shivers, he missed it.

 

He missed it so much.

 

Soon the paint was thrown aggressively on the canvas, forming shapes, the soft and bright yellow of once upon a time turned into an angry yellow feeding a fire.

 

It was liberating for Yoonoh, to let his feeling feel the painting, to allow himself to feel that way for a moment.

 

In the morning, he had finished without sleeping but it was worth it. Alongside painting it, he came to term with his jealous feeling and left it there, with the paint. Now he understood that Dongyoung liked someone that sounded like a nice man, and he was still his friend, a close friend, whom he loved.

 

Therefore, he wanted what's best for him.

 

If that was that Johnny guy, then so be it. He would leave him be painted with his brightest yellow.

 

He was surprisingly satisfied with his work and decided that he would bring it to Dongyoung after work. Which was hard considering his lack of sleep.

 

He did bring the painting to his gallery after work, a few minutes before closure.

 

Fate was really a sadistic piece of shit.

 

When he came in, proud and happy to have found his inspiration again, he saw Dongyoung talking with a man, a man that checked every Johnny boxes.

 

But Yoonoh promised himself to be happy for his friend, so he just went to them and introduced himself, then gave the painting to Dongyoung who was excited to see it, he had been so worried about his artistic slump.

 

Strangely, Johnny was happy to see it too.

 

'' _Johnny loves your pieces, Yoonoh. He is the one who bought Do not shrink away_. '' said Dongyoung, explaining a bit why a complete stranger would be that much interested in his paintings.

 

'' _You did..?_ '' asked Yoonoh to Johnny, actually talking to him for the first time, a bit shyly but it was the first time he met someone his age who liked his paintings enough to actually buy one. He remembered it was a pretty bank check too. Could he really buy it ? Did he really like it that much ?

 

'' _Yeah, I loved it too much. I can't believe you did it two years ago and it was still taking dust here. No offence Dongyoung but, that piece deserves its own spotlight and home._ ''

 

They kept talking all night, even after closure time. A few times Johnny asked his new favourite painter what was his inspiration, what was his secret for making such masterpieces, but every time Yoonoh answered only vaguely.

 

He couldn't say he loved his friend right there.

 

As weeks went by, they would often meet together at the gallery. Yoonoh would sometime bring exclusive sketches and watercolour pieces to Johnny who was impressed every time. Yoonoh's main medium was acrylic, paint on canvas, and Johnny was amazed that he was also that good with watercolour and markers.

 

Johnny kept on praising Yoonoh and even though he wanted to hate him the first time Dongyoung talked to him about Johnny but now he could only see him as and honest and loyal blue. Johnny would always do his best at giving truthful feedbacks. And even after months of those late meetings, he never tried to make him leave to be alone with Dongyoung, or found a new favourite artist, he stayed loyal to his paintings and to him as a friend.

 

Johnny really was blue, Yoonoh started to think. He was responsible, had a time-consuming job that didn't allow any mistake but still went there with a smile and came back to them whenever he could. Sometime Dongyoung and Yoonoh would open a good bottle of red wine, to celebrate a big painting being bought, even better if it was one of Yoonoh's, but Johnny never drank. He needed to drive them home after, the both of them, and then he had to sleep and go to work in the early morning.

 

Blue was also the color of introvert, which Johnny was in his own way. He didn't like to draw attention, and was usually the one listening to Dongyoung and Yoonoh talk, unless he had something sincere he wanted to say.

 

When Yoonoh was with Johnny, he felt more confident, relaxed and a feeling of security. A different one from Dongyoung's brown. It was more like an inner peacefulness. He just felt at ease, he could trust Johnny with himself.

 

But Johnny wasn't only blue, with time Yoonoh got to learn that he was a blue with a glimpse of indigo. Indigo is intuition and perception. Johnny seemed to sense thing before they were even happening, or notice if Dongyoung or Yoonoh were in a different state of mind, if something was wrong, if they weren't feeling well. Or in the contrary if they had something important they wanted to tell.

 

And just like that, he started thinking about Johnny while painting. He hadn't painted anything since the angry jealousy painting and painting something with Johnny's blue and indigo was peaceful but also heart opening.

 

Indigo was so deeply sincere that Yoonoh couldn't paint anything good enough without putting his heart on the canvas.

 

And just like that, he dipped his heart in Johnny's blue. Getting a green heart, ready to love both of them.

 

When he brought the new piece inspired by Johnny to the gallery, he didn't expect him to react that way. It seemed as if he understood what was behind the deep midnight blue sky. How could he ? His face wasn't even visible, no line like with Dongyoung's inspired paintings, it was only when you connect the stars that his face would appear.

 

He couldn't have noticed it... right ?

 

Yoonoh's heart started pounding a lot and of course Johnny would have noticed it with his damn indigo perception. So he took him into his arm, told him to listen to his heartbeat and calm down. He kept whispering soft things into his ear, until he finally did.

 

Dongyoung saw it and just looked at them with loving eyes.

 

'' _Show me that painting, it's amazing I need to frame it and put it in the gallery._ '' started Dongyoung once Yoonoh left Johnny's arms.

 

'' _No need. I buy it._ ''

 

Yoonoh's head turned right away to look at the man who said it and Johnny had an amused smile on his face.

 

'' _You painted it for me didn't you ? I want it_. ''

 

'' _How did you know... ?_ ''

 

'' _what ? So he just gets a painting for him after a few months and I get nothing after a lot of years ?_ '' complained Dongyoung, honestly hurt by his childhood friend.

 

'' _What do you mean ? Every painting in this gallery that he did is inspired by you, Dongyoung._ ''

 

How could Johnny be that perspective. It was beyond human capabilities. It just, he didn't have the right to say that to Dongyoung.

 

'' _Is it true, Yoonoh ?_ ''

 

'' _Yeah.._. ''

 

Now he didn't know where to be. He just knew he didn't want to be there, in the gallery. But he was a grown man and needed to communicate.

 

And even if he didn't want to, Johnny felt he made a mistake and hurt Yoonoh, and being the blue guy he is, he couldn't leave without communicating and resolving the issue.

 

He told Dongyoung they would be back soon and that he should start filling in the paperwork for him to buy the piece. Then he dragged Yoonoh out of the gallery and apologize without further a due. Johnny then explained that he noticed on the first week how the colours in Yoonoh's paintings matched Dongyoung's personality, and then he kept staring at those artworks and noticed the hidden lines. And he assumed Yoonoh would have done something like that with his new piece. That's why when he saw the blue sky he got surprised and when he noticed that if you connect the stars together it paints a face, his face, he got surprised even more. In a good way.

 

He loved it.

 

Johnny said he loved his work, and that he loved that it was Yoonoh who did it.

 

Yoonoh's heart never beat as fast as it was right at that moment.

 

Except, except maybe a week later, when Yoonoh invited him and Dongyoung to his flat to see how well his new painting was going with his interior. It really was going well. Yoonoh saw the first painting Johnny bought as well and started blushing. He still couldn't believe he spent that much to get one of his paintings. To get two of them.

 

But that wasn't why his heartbeat raised that much.

 

Dongyoung was there and seeing the painting Yoonoh did for Johnny while still not understanding that all the precedent paintings where inspired by him made him feel bad. And he made it known.

 

Johnny looked at Yoonoh, not wanting to tell his secret but still asking him to do something about whiny Dongyoung.

 

So Yoonoh finally told him.

 

" _I did one painting inspired by Johnny. I did a thousand pieces inspired by you, Dongyoung._ "

 

That was the most sincere thing he ever said, and showing him his yellow heart, being naked like that, stripped from his barricade, just him and his vibrant feelings, made his heart race.

 

He didn't have to say anything, didn't have to say the three words, Dongyoung understood with that simple sentence and the ton with which he said it, with the raw sincerity, he finally understood what Yoonoh felt for him.

 

And finally it felt like everything was coming together just right. Johnny stayed silent, letting them have their moment, knowing how long Yoonoh had waited for it.

 

Slowly, a bit afraid to scare Yoonoh away, Dongyoung came closer to him. He stopped being whiny about not being loved enough, and started being whiny about not having kissed him sooner. Yoonoh had enough, he could see in Dongyoung's gaze how much he wanted his lips, and how whiny he was even though he didn't really say anything about it. He had enough, he was the one who waited more than ten years.

 

So he pushed his lips onto his.

 

It was messy, uncomfortable. They weren't close enough, over a small table and it wasn't even good itself. The kiss itself was messy, their lips weren't moving together correctly, they weren't synchronized, one would open his mouth when the other closed it. But that's the messiness of it that made it real, that made them feel their emotions, that convey how much they loved each other and how long they waited.

 

Johnny almost shed a tear looking at them finally opening up.

 

Yoonoh was crying, tears running down his cheeks and some of them ended up on Dongyoung. When he felt them he stepped away a little and put his forehead on his soulmate.

 

That is when Johnny felt it was okay to join in, to be there too and made a few steps to join them over that table. He put both his hands on Yoonoh's cheeks to brush off his tears while fondly smiling at both of them and missed a heartbeat when Dongyoung laid his head on his shoulder.

 

Quickly enough, they found their own dynamic and started kissing each other, saying too many or not enough  _i- love-_ _you_ s.

 

In Yoonoh's head he was seeing the most beautiful painting. Their relationship was a blank canvas, and they all laid down on it, using their arms as brushes, they put their own color on each other, and on the sheets of Johnny's bed. Dongyoung's yellow was all over Yoonoh's thighs, all over his and Johnny's chest as well. Yoonoh couldn't have wished for better inspiration than those two beautiful men. They really were stunning on the canvas. The paint mixed beautifully on it, the brushes kept bumping into each other, clinging into each other, trying to find something to grab, trying to find somewhere to put paint on.

 

Yoonoh felt the need to paint them with his own color, but he needed to be impregnated with theirs more, so he took their arms to put their paint on himself, which Johnny found awfully pretty and attractive. Dongyoung felt just about the same.

 

For the rest of the night, their colours kept mixing together, sometime getting green, sometime getting orange, sometime purple. With the three of them together, it was a firework made from tube paints.

 

When the painting was finished, Yoonoh was in between his two lovers, being smothered in love and care, hugging them just as much. He was still in awe to how beautiful it turned out.

 

Dongyoung was yellow, Johnny was blue, and Yoonoh liked to think that he was red, therefore making them primary colours, with the three of them they could do anything.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Red is warm, positive, energizing. It's also ambition and confidence, and most of all, the color of passion and love.


End file.
